This is for
all the women who do not want children and who can’t have any!
First off
this is definitely not an attack on parents and their life choices, I have lots
of friends and family who are terrific parents and I am incredibly happy for
them all. However, having children is not for everyone or not possible for
everyone.
It really
makes me angry that in the twenty-first century, there is still this stigma and
idea society has; that everyone should have a child. Nine times out of ten when
I go to an event or generally just anywhere, I get people saying the following;
“when is it your turn?” “you’re turn next”, “now you have the house, next comes
the baby”. NO. Why?
I decided a
few years ago I did not want children, it is not because I do not like
children, I just prefer being fun aunty Chlo. I am too immature to have my own
children and I like knowing I have the freedom to do what I want. Maybe that
makes me selfish, but why should it because I do not want any. When I announce
this to people, (I usually let it get to the fourth person’s comments on this
subject before I say anything) that I don’t see children in my future - I get
the head tilt, followed by I am sure you will change your mind. Why should I change
my mind and even if I did, I physically cannot have any! It is incredibly
frustrating to have these questions all the time! For the women who can’t have
children or who struggle and go to incredible lengths to have them; can you
take a step back and imagine how these personal, probing questions make them
feel?
Five years
ago the doctor told me that there was 97% chance that I couldn’t have children,
I know this can be devastating for women who can’t have them. I cannot imagine the
pain of not being able to have something you really want. Instead of feeling
confused, angry and upset, I didn’t really feel anything because I had a strong
presumption I never wanted babies. Maybe one day my mind will change, not that
it will make a difference, I can’t see it personally when I have felt this way
for over ten years.
People can
lead happy lives without children, they are not self-absorbed or empty. Far too
many people get offended by the fact I don’t want babies, I do not judge your
life choices so don’t judge mine. I am under no obligation to have them. The
amount of judgement on this is insane, people treat you like a monster or an
awful woman because you aren’t fulfilling your womanly purpose. It is utter
b*@*@£$%!
So for all
the woman who feel the same and or can’t have any, I salute you and people
please stop asking us about babies.
Love Chlobo's Closet xxx
